


Disruption of Nowhere

by lumos_flies



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Exhibitionism, F/F, Force Choking (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Light BDSM, NSFW, Reader-Insert, TROS fix it fic, Wet Dream, inappropriate use of force lightning, lady parts galore, listen buddy they fuck, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:47:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25221892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumos_flies/pseuds/lumos_flies
Summary: You were a mechanic just trying to make it in the resistance, working on the Falcon. A confrontation between you and Rey leads to one of the most thrilling moments of your life. You two fall into each other, and into a relationship that explores the darkest parts of each other. Set during The Rise of Skywalker, though I will be playing fast and loose with canon.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 85





	1. It Happened One Night

**Author's Note:**

> An incredible thank you to my friend Kate (@apostatefrog) who went through this first chapter with a fine tooth comb to improve it into the best it could be.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An encounter, a dream. 
> 
> Warnings for: force choking, horny dreams.

This wasn’t the first time you had been called to work on the Falcon, not by any means. But this was the first time you had been called by name for it. It was the first time someone had seen something in you. Now you would be in charge of servicing possibly the most important vessel in the resistance.

At least that’s the mantra you repeated to yourself as you walked down to the Falcon, making sure not to trip over any of the vines criss-crossing on the ground. The jungle was alive around you, the gentle hum of all the machinery blending in with the distant animal noises. It had frightened you when you first arrived on Ajan Kloss, the thought that there could be anything out there, but nothing had ever happened. This was your biggest moment to date-- now you would have the chance to prove yourself in your own right, that you were not a leftover from parents who were better and more skilled than you. Now you would be able to prove that you were a skilled mechanic in your own right.

And then someone bumped into you, barely even glancing back to see if you were okay. You huffed, adjusting the supplies you were carrying before moving forward once again. You didn’t want to let anything ruin your day: this moment was yours. That was, however, before you saw the condition that the Falcon was in. It looked like someone had tried to make the Kessel run in it again and failed miserably.

“POE DAMERON!” you shouted, momentarily forgetting all pretense of professionalism, as you knew the so-called daring pilot and incredible pain in your ass had to be around here somewhere. The call had come to you quickly as the Falcon needed immediate repairs. “I know you are around here somewhere!”

“IT WAS FINN’S FAULT!” came Poe’s immediate reply as he quickly came around from the back of the Falcon. He pointed accusingly at the man following him. “He distracted me and I’m only so good, you know!” They both looked about like the Falcon on a good day- just slightly scuffed up.

“I did no such thing!” the former stormtrooper shouted, pointing his own accusatory finger right back at Poe. “I heard you yell at Poe last time!” Both of them were distracted by the approach of Rey and Leia. The approach of the General and the last Jedi forced them to quickly abandon their argument. 

You rolled your eyes as you marched forward to the Falcon. You made small notes on your datapad and annoyed noises under your breath as you took in the damage, of which there was a lot. You sighed when you realized that it would take a week to fix everything. Maybe less if you worked through the night, which you were often asked to do. The Falcon was a symbol to the resistance: the ship they toted out the most. It would have to look as good as it could and fly like new.

“Get out of here and let me get started,” you muttered before looking around to see that there was nobody else around now. You wondered what you had missed now, stuck in your own little mechanical world. With a small shrug, you went about the first and easiest round of repairs. Despite these repairs being the easiest, they still kept you working well past dinner. You were only aware of the passage of time when your stomach began to growl. You blinked a couple of times, in an attempt to wet your eyes again. You came to a stopping point and rolled your shoulders, forcing yourself to release the stress that had gathered there. 

With your most recent repair finished enough not to explode or ruin anything else, you made your way back through the jungle to the main camp. The one tent that had been designated as a cafeteria was barely even a quarter of the way full of people. You grabbed some food off the table, not caring what you got. You sat down at a table alone like you did most nights, even when the caf was full of people. 

It wasn’t necessarily that you wanted to be alone, but people were complicated. Especially now, with everything seeming so dire after everything that happened on Crait. You thought there was a rumor of a spy going around camp, but that side of the resistance was foreign to you. Another reason why you often ended up eating alone--too busy thinking about the next repair to try to carry on a conversation.

“You’re working on the Falcon,” a voice said, jarring you out of your thoughts as you ate. You looked up to see Rey. You knew of her, of course, having been rescued by her along with everyone else, but this was probably the first time Rey had spoken to you. You were struck very suddenly by how close she was to you, and for the first time you truly saw her face up close. There was something about her eyes that sent a pang to your cunt. They were dark, and there was something that looked like anger in them. You couldn’t figure out why she would be angry at you

“I, uh, I am,” you managed to mumble out, swallowing hard to clear away any nerves before you dared to speak again. Rey had her Jedi powers, which was frankly intimidating, but from all accounts she was a decent enough person to not use them on you. “I am working on the Falcon. Why? Was there something you wanted me to do?”

“I want you to not break it,” Rey immediately fired back, a frown on her delicate features. “That’s Han’s ship, you know; you have to be careful with it.” You were taken aback by the hostility in her voice. You two had never spoken before, and you had been making smaller repairs on the Falcon for ages before someone finally noticed you doing more than the average mechanic and called for you. Where did she get off with this superior attitude? 

“I’m well aware of whose ship it is! I was in this fight long before you showed up,” you replied, not bothering to watch your tone with her. New Jedi Order be damned. Suddenly you weren’t that hungry anymore, and the food on your plate looked less than appetizing. You stood up, forcing her to back slightly away from you. Rey was taller than you, you realized now, by a few inches. You had to look up at her. Your eyes met, and you could see something in her eyes--curiosity? You imagined almost everyone on the base naturally deferred to her, but you had been here for years with your parents, and quite frankly, you didn’t care about her weird powers.

“I’m going back to my repairs now,” you told her. You were forced to move around her when she stood directly in your way. Your arms brushed for just the briefest of moments, and there was no denying there was a spark this time.You made sure not to wince when Rey jerked herself away from you. You told yourself you didn’t feel her eyes on the back of your head as you walked away, thankful there was nobody else around to see you. 

You made your way back to your tent in a haze, trying not to read too much into the interaction. You knew what desire felt like, having had previous partners. But never had you felt anything from someone intentionally trying to antagonize you. Part of you wanted to turn around and go back to apologize. The other part of you wanted to go back to demand an apology from her. You did neither. 

It was only when you had gotten back and your roommate commented on it that you realized you still were holding your dinner. You put away your leftovers, in case your appetite returned later. You sat on your bed, scrolling through your datapad and prioritizing the remaining repairs, adjusting the list until you were happy with it. The leftovers would give you an excuse to skip breakfast the next morning and get back to work faster. With a plan decided on in your mind you set the datapad aside to finally sleep. As you tried to settle into bed it seemed impossible to quiet your mind enough to drift off to sleep. Your thoughts compounded upon themselves, and you tossed and turned until you were too exhausted to keep your eyes open a moment longer.

Her lips were soft but insistent upon yours, parting your mouth with ease, pressing her tongue in right after. You moaned into her mouth, eagerly trying to grab at her, only to find your wrists held down by some invisible force. You struggled against it, your naked torso needing any sort of stimulation, but the woman in your dreams only pulled away from you and chuckled, her voice dark.

“You’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” she asked, the voice sounding so familiar to you, but in your lust you could not place it. Her face was obscured by some sort of mist, and you were only able to focus on her mouth. You nodded, agreeing to whatever she wanted, desperate to get her hands or her mouth back on you. The woman laughed again, and it sounded dangerous. 

Without warning, her hands shot between your legs, pressing them apart so she could settle herself between them. She reached up to part your lips, her fingers going immediately to your clit. The sensation of her fingers there shot pleasure through you like lightning. Her touch was not yet quite what you needed, too light to truly send you into an orgasm, and you threw your head back with a loud groan. 

“Please,” you begged, looking down into brown eyes as the woman’s face finally swam into focus, “please, Rey..” 

You woke up with a jolt, breathing heavily, trying to ignore the lingering tingling between your legs. You couldn’t believe you had had a dream like that about Rey. It had been a while since you had been laid, but to have a wet dream about a stranger was completely outside the norm for you. Your thoughts tended to stray towards previous encounters, or the intense novels you kept hidden on your datapad.

You were too keyed up to go back to sleep, though, and decided to work through some of your dream-induced lust with some more delicate repairs on the Falcon. When working, you were free to drop into a peaceful, thoughtless zone. Your hands would be the thing you had to worry about. Just the parts in your hands, and nothing else. The focus of doing repairs on the Falcon would help you ignore your dream.

You slipped through camp as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake anybody else at this time of the night. You had barely dressed, only tugging on proper pants with your night shirt to give the appearance that you weren’t running naked through the night. You didn’t need to add any gossip that you were having a secret tryst. You wanted to focus on yourself in the wake of everything that had happened. 

It was the best time of night. Everybody had finally gone to sleep; even Poe and Leia had ceased their battle planning for some much needed rest. The two were prone to working late hours, with others coming and going as they planned out as much as they could. The camp was as quiet as it could be despite strange creatures making their strange noises all around you in the forest. There was an undercurrent of mechanical whirring, something that usually lulled you to sleep. But now it only reminded you that there was still more work to be done to get the Falcon to rejoin the symphony.

Everything in the Falcon sounded too loud when there was nobody else around. The hiss of the ramp as it went down. The lights as they clicked on. It all sounded like it would wake the whole camp and bring them running. You made your way up the ramp, fingers tracing over the familiar paneling as you made your way towards the cockpit. The Falcon was something you could see--and had seen before--in your dreams. It was beneath your eyelids when you blinked after you had worked on it so often. You weren’t sure when its repairs had become your job, but they had. Today was the first day of many, you were sure, when they would call for you to focus on it until you had fixed everything. You were one step closer to your goal of becoming a lead engineer.

You settled into the pilot’s seat, picking up a couple of frayed wires, as you reached around into the toolbox. You weren’t sure what the hell Poe had gotten into this time, but it must have been bad for the Falcon to have such extensive damage. You didn’t like to think about all the dangerous missions the others went on while you were stuck planetside. You had known Poe nearly your entire life, thanks to your parents. But that had been before everything changed. For a time you had wanted to be out there too, risking your life, but you knew deep down you would be better working on the ships rather than flying them.

Time slipped past you as you worked methodically, checking and double checking your work as you went. You were on the very last of the cockpit repairs when you realized you could hear someone else on board the ship. You figured it was another engineer, someone else who couldn’t sleep and wanted to be useful rather than toss and turn. The footsteps came closer, and you thought about pausing to see who it was, but decided that if they truly needed to talk to you, they would. 

“What are you doing?!” Rey demanded, her voice harsh. Before you could reply, you were thrown out of the chair and slammed into the wall beside you. Her lips twisted into a snarl and she threw her arm out in front of her, using the Force to keep you suspended above the ground. You felt pressure around your throat, like her hand was there, squeezing it. 

“Who said you could do this?!” Rey asked, though it didn’t seem like she was interested in an answer as she increased the pressure around your throat with a twitch of her fingers. You tried to gasp, fingers flying up to claw at the invisible hand around your throat--your lungs screamed for air. As they burned, your head started to swim. Everything combined to bring you teetering to the edge of pleasure.

She leaned in close to you, her eyes ablaze. Unbidden, your lips fell open, and your tongue darted out. Rey’s eyes immediately traced it as it happened, and they darkened in a different way. She changed the pressure on your throat yet again, and you moaned. 

With that, the vice around your throat disappeared and the moment was broken. Rey jerked away from you like she had been burned. You took a long breath, sinking to the floor as she released the Force pressure that had held you in place. You felt a throb between your legs that you ignored as you looked up at Rey with wide eyes. Her face was completely red, a deep blush coming up from her neck. Her eyes were wild in a different way now; there was nothing but fear in them as she stared at her hand in horror. 

“I-I-I’m sorry!” Rey burst out, running from the cockpit as soon as she realized you weren’t terribly hurt. You knew there would be a bruise forming tomorrow. You struggled to your feet with blood rushing back up to your head. You wanted to call out after her, but you weren’t sure what you would say. You didn’t think you should apologize for your reaction, but something nagged at you. Maybe it was the look on her face.

You finally made your way out of the Falcon a few moments later, as soon as you were totally sure you would be alone again. You rubbed at your throat lightly, trying to make sense of the reaction to the Force being used on you. You had never experienced anything like it before.

The sex you liked before always had been a bit on the rougher side, but there was something dangerous about adding the Force into the mix. You were forced to totally surrender yourself to something in that moment--you had no control over anything that was happening at all. It thrilled you. 

But, besides, even if you had liked it--what about Rey? The look on her face had been horror struck; she seemed afraid of what she had done. You knew nothing about Rey and her previous experience. A new fear crawled into your mind--was Rey afraid of what she had done or was she afraid of the reaction you had given?

Sleep evaded you for the rest of the night, and you tossed and turned in your bed. Your mind raced with the different possibilities. Should you seek Rey out? Would she come to you? Were you to simply ignore everything that had happened? Part of you wondered if you should tell someone else that Rey had so easily lost control of herself. Nothing about this had an easy path out.  
You heard your roommate stir when it was time to get up for the day, but you buried yourself in your blanket and waved her away, mumbling some vague excuse about not feeling well. You knew someone would eventually come to check on you, but you hoped to be asleep by then.

After a few more attempts to get comfortable and push the thoughts of your night out of your head, you were finally able to drift off, and thankfully, your dreams were pure nothingness.


	2. An Intrusive Introspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't get Rey out of your head.
> 
> Warnings for: Horny dreams, more force holds, implied exhibitionism

You were awoken what felt like only minutes later by a shaking at your shoulder. You blinked awake to see Tal, one of the camp medics, leaning over you. You realized as well that your blanket had slipped down while you were asleep, exposing your neck clearly now. The Togruta male took a step back as you sat up, his eyes immediately going to your neck. You knew without looking there would be a deep line around your neck, as there always was--you bruised so easily.

“What’s that?” he said by way of greeting, his hands coming up to your neck, but you flinched away before he could touch it. You opened your mouth, and closed it again. You had no idea what a good lie would be in this situation, so you opted for a version of the truth. His eyes narrowed before the words even left your mouth. Tal had taken care of you before, and had firsthand knowledge of how you would brush off injuries. “Your roommate said you slept through the morning and that you were sick, but that doesn’t look like any illness.”

“I.. had some unexpected fun last night?” you offered up, hoping the words sounded convincing. From the way Tal’s face fell flat it seemed like your lie had not worked, but there was no way you were going to tell him the truth. Not before you had a chance to speak to Rey. There was so much to sort out there that you couldn’t bring in another person, not yet. 

“I don’t believe you at all, but if you don’t want to tell me what happened, I won’t press you,” Tal said with a sigh, perhaps not wanting to get into a fight at the moment. There was always someone else who needed to be patched up, it seemed like. “But just know that I’m here for you if you’re into something dangerous. Now, let me see your throat.”

“Thanks, Tal,” you replied, letting his hands tilt your head as he moved it to get a better look at the bruising. He declared you technically okay, though he was worried about how uniform the bruising was. You hadn’t mentioned the soreness in your back, just to hurry him out faster. How would you be able to explain that away--that you had annoyed a Jedi so much she slammed you up into a wall? 

It was just about lunchtime when Tal finally left and you followed him out, determined to find Rey. Tal would make a report about your injury soon, and you needed to speak with her immediately. You weren’t sure what had come over you, as normally you would want to get back to work as soon as possible. Maybe it was the look on Rey’s face when she was close to you-- or maybe the look of horror right after. You knew she might be a bit hard to find, but not impossible. 

Your first stop was back to the Falcon. You knew Rey liked to help with the repairs on occasion, and you figured it would be a good place to start. You tried hard to ignore the stares that lingered around your neck. Nobody on the base dared to approach you about it, however, preferring to take not-so-subtle glances as you walked. You told yourself you couldn’t hear any whispers as you walked around, trying to see if she was there.

You got to the Falcon, but Rey wasn’t there. Unfortunately, Aftab Ackbar was there, and you found yourself with a datapad in hand before you could explain that you weren’t there to work. The bruising around your neck seemed not to bother him at all--Aftab hadn’t even looked at it, or commented on why you were so late. His attitude of ignoring embarrassing personal matters often worked in your favor, especially when you were up at all hours of the night making repairs, but now you found it annoying. 

There was no way out of working now, with Aftab being your superior officer. You wanted to be thankful that you hadn’t been yelled at for wasting a half a day of work, but it was hard with your mind still racing. You floundered for just a moment, staring at the datapad in a daze before you heard someone call your name, and you turned to see who it was. 

Kaz, your roommate, was waving at you from next to the ramp of the Falcon. Her red hair was tied up in a bun on top of her head, a few strands falling out only to be stuck to her skin with sweat. Even from a distance you could see a glint in her blue eyes that told you that she had questions for you. 

With a sigh you trudged over to her, resigning yourself to a long afternoon of work. Kaz had been in a rush, as per her usual, and you could hear her gasp as you drew near enough for her to see your neck. The shirts the Resistance provided did little to hide anything. 

“What happened?” Kaz asked, her current repair forgotten as she moved towards you. Her hands came up to your neck as well, but unlike Tal, she was almost harsh with it. 

“Ow!” you snapped, pulling back from her. Your neck was sore and her poking felt awful. “Why would your first instinct be to poke at a bruise?”

“Why would you tell me you were sick when this was around your neck?” she snapped back, poking at your neck once more before moving back. You had hidden it so well before she’d left for the day and now you felt exposed. “It’s so uniform--what could have done that to you?”

“Mind your own business and get back to work,” you sniffed, trying to make a joke out of her worry, but the look on her face didn’t change. “I got myself tangled up in some wires in just the right way last night. It’s no big deal.”

Kaz couldn’t press much more than that; she opened her mouth to speak but the autowrench she was holding began to spark in her hand. You were grateful for the distraction as you both tried to put out the hazard before it started a fire. As soon as it was under control, you looked back up at Kaz, her mouth open for another question. 

Before Kaz could ask again, you darted into the Falcon, trying to make your way back to the cockpit to return to the repairs you had left off last night. You knew she would trail after you, unable to resist poking and prodding--literally and metaphorically. It wasn’t so much that she cared about you; she was just a gossip. This was the most scandalous thing that had ever happened to you. Kaz would want to know everything. 

What would you even tell her? What would you be able to tell anybody? Despite trying your best to focus on the repairs in front of you, it felt like you could hear people whispering all around you. You couldn’t understand all the languages being spoken around you, but the tone of it was the same, the implication in their voices a universal truth--whore. How could you deny it?

Rey used the Force on you in a violent way, and you got wet from it. That was the truth, laid bare on the table. You’d had rough sex before, but this was different. You knew through word of mouth that the Force was something different. Something wild and unstable. And you knew Rey was unstable--she was more powerful than anybody before. There was something wrong with getting off to the danger, wasn’t there?

The thought of it thrilled you, though. There had been something delicious about being pinned there, weightless. Her eyes locked onto you--the prey caught within a trap. You wanted to be back there again; you wanted to please her. Wanted to watch her eyes trace your tongue as you licked your lips. 

You wondered what else Rey could do with the Force. Would she be able to touch you with it in any other ways? Could she be soft with it? Play with you? Would she kiss you? Did you want to kiss her? Her lips looked soft, even when she was snarling at you. It was odd for you to be so attracted to someone like this. Normally any attraction was taken care of quickly and neatly. The last time you had been kissed was the first time you had been kissed. It was odd, smushing your lips into another beings. There had been no sparks, no fireworks bursting behind your eyes like your mother told you when you were a little girl. Just dry, chapped lips pushed onto your for what felt like the longest moment of your life.

You shook your head violently, trying to shake the thoughts from your head as you worked. You wanted to focus, to get yourself back into your zone. It would not do well to make a mistake now. You worked in thoughtless silence for a while until you heard steps behind you again. The hairs on the back of your head stood up straight, and you whipped around--only to see Kaz standing behind you, her hands thrown up. 

“Whoa, whoa, I come in peace,” she said, dropping her hands and walking closer. “Just wanted to check in on you. It’s been a few hours now. Hadn’t seen or heard from you.” Had it already been hours? You’d been so lost in thought that the time had slipped by you. The repair in your hands was completely done, fixed in a way that it wouldn’t break again. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve been lost in thought all day,” you apologized, putting everything back to where it was meant to be, and wiping your hands off to face Kaz properly. 

“Yeah, I could hear you thinking from outside the Falcon,” Kaz said, taking a place besides you as you both walked back to your shared ten. “Wanna tell me what’s going on? That look you had on your face is normally reserved for those annoying repairs.”

“I… met someone,” you started, deciding to go with the smallest amount of truth you could. Kaz was a decent enough friend. She might have some insight into the situation. You wanted to make sure she wouldn’t get too ahead of herself. If you told her everything, the moment you blinked the whole camp would know as well--you’d seen it happen before.

“And it got rough? Is that why you lied earlier? Embarrassed?” she prompted, desperate for any crumb you’d give her about your private life. You knew everything about her sex life, in what some would call too much detail, but you’d never said a peep about anybody to her the whole time you’d know each other. 

“It got intense,” you replied, worrying with your hands as you both returned to the tent. You didn’t want to expose everything, but it might be nice to speak to someone about all the thoughts you’d had. “I think I liked it?”

“You think you liked it?” Kaz prompted as you both settled onto your respective beds. “‘Cause there’s a big difference between thinking and knowing you liked it.”

“Thank you for your insight,” you teased her before pausing for a moment. “I liked it but it was different than anything I’ve ever done before. It was… scary.” 

“Scary can be good,” Kaz said, eyeing your neck warily, “but that doesn’t look good.”

“In the moment it felt fine,” you admitted, your own hands coming up to touch at the bruising, poking at it just like Kaz had earlier. It didn’t hurt much, but it was sore and tender. It felt like you’d been held down by something so much larger than you--like a Dewback had been sitting on you. It was odd to think that there was that much power hidden in Rey, just behind her fingertips. Ready to be let loose at the slightest twitch of them. You were suddenly very happy that the Force user was firmly on your side of the fight.

“It was a bit much though,” you agreed, your hands finally drifting away from your neck. “But it was like the other person hadn’t done anything like it before. She lost control.”

“She?” Kaz latched onto the small detail she had picked up on. You frowned, annoyed that you had given a little bit away to her. 

“Yes, Kaz, she,” you teased, rolling your eyes at her. “Gender isn’t important; we were talking about losing control?”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Kaz sighed, and settled in full into her bed. You watched as she shifted a little, still not used to the beds on this base. “I think you should talk to her. Figure out why she lost control. Maybe it’s just all too intense for her too.”

You made a noise of agreement to Kaz, who quickly lost interest and began to read on her datapad. That was an angle you hadn’t considered, to your shock. 

Why had Rey lost control? You had spent time thinking that Rey had lost control because of you, because of something you had done. But what if she hadn’t? What if Rey just couldn’t control herself? It made reaching back out to her different. You had a new fear now--what if it happened again? And what if she didn’t stop?

You adjusted yourself on your bed, almost violently, until your body tired just enough that you settled down. You tried to look through the repairs you had on your own datapad, trying to see what had gotten done today but you couldn’t seem to focus on it at all. After reading the same notation on a repair several times in a row, you gave up and grabbed your leftovers from the night before. 

You almost inhaled them, the stress and lack of food from the day hitting you at once. The food didn’t taste good by any means, but it tasted like home and it would keep you full. Anytime something tasted too bad, it reminded you of when you had met Kaz, who had been so shiny and new to the Resistance. She’d had no idea that the Resistance was always hanging on by sheer luck and determination. Now she had a better idea, but the same complaints about the food.

“Do you like her?” Kaz asked, breaking the silence. “I mean, enough to actually talk to her?”

“I have no idea,” you replied, struck by the question to answer honestly. “This is the second time we’ve interacted.”

“And she choked you?” Kaz asked, her voice tinged with worry now. You knew her personal life, knew she wouldn’t judge you for much, but you also knew she would worry no matter what. And even to your own ears the story sounded awful. Neither time you’d interacted with Rey had been particularly pleasant, and yet here you were talking about her like it was a normal crush. 

“I think she just got carried away,” you said, trying to defend Rey. She had seemed just as surprised as you were when she used the force on you. It seemed like an outpouring of her own emotions, an extension of herself. “I think she just couldn’t stop herself.”

“That’s a bit more than intense, then,” Kaz said, pausing for a moment. You looked over when she didn’t continue to see her chewing at her lower lip. “Talking to her might be a bad idea if this is how she reacts to things.”

“I’m hoping it won’t end this poorly again,” you replied, settling yourself down into bed. “And I’ll tell you before I go so if I don’t come back at least someone will know what happened.”

“Don’t joke like that!” Kaz said with a gasp, throwing her pillow at you. You stuck your tongue out in reply, throwing the pillow back at her. She rolled her eyes at the childish gesture, and fixed herself down into bed as well. You thought she had fallen asleep before she spoke again.

“Whoever it is must be special, though,” Kaz commented, her voice thick with sleep. “I’ve never heard you talk about anybody before.”

“That’s because I don’t want you to tell the entire Resistance, and probably the First Order as well, about my love life,” you replied, but the only response you got was a snore. You tried to read on your datapad again but the words swam in front of your eyes, and you gave up with an annoyed huff. If nothing else you had to find Rey and speak to her simply to get yourself back to normal. It took longer than normal to find a comfortable position to sleep in with your back sore but eventually you were able to drift off into sleep. 

You were back in the Falcon, alone, and naked. Once again you found yourself pinned to the wall in the cockpit by the Force, but this time Rey was nowhere to be seen. You were held in place with your arms above your head and your legs spread shoulder width apart. 

“Hello?” you called out, trying to pull yourself away, but the Force bonds only tightened themselves, pushing to the point of pain. “Is anybody there?”

Rey turned the corner, coming into view with her arm outstretched. You struggled harder, trying to cover yourself, twisting your body around to hide your cunt from her. Rey chuckled, the sound of it low and dark. She was staring at you curiously, as if you were a spider caught in her web that she was about to eat. 

“Why are you trying to hide from me?” she asked, coming close enough that she could touch you if she wanted. “I thought this was what you wanted from me. I saw how you looked at me.”

“No,” you tried to insist, but you could feel yourself grow wet between your thighs at her words. You wanted to say that she was wrong but she was stirring something deep inside you. “Someone could see us.”

“I don’t see how that’s my problem,” Rey replied, her hand slipping around your throat to cradle the back of your head as she leaned forward to kiss you. 

You awoke with a gasp, shooting up in bed. You glanced over at Kaz, who was sleeping soundly still. The second dream only strengthened your resolve to find Rey and talk to her. Your sleep couldn’t keep getting interrupted every time you had a dream about her. You laid back down, telling yourself that you would seek Rey out in the morning and put the whole business to rest.


	3. An Eventful Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally get some alone time with Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Allusion to past sex work. I believe that is it, but if anybody sees something that should be tagged please let me know!

The next morning you awoke and went to work, determined to get enough done that your evening would be free to search for Rey. You worked almost feverishly, with a determination you hadn’t had before. You were used to working to ignore your personal issues, but now you were working to confront them. It was an odd change of pace but the work still got done. You were happy your work wasn’t suffering, either, if anything it almost improved with your new vigor.

It was early evening by the time you were able to leave the Falcon and being your search for Rey. She hadn’t shown up at the Falcon at all, to your disappointment, but there were only so many places she could be. You went to the caf next, thinking she might be eating her dinner but she wasn’t there either. You did, however, see Poe. That was a good place to start. 

“Poe!” you said, walking up to him. He had some food shoved into his mouth, but looked up at you anyways. You said a hello to Finn and Rose, who sat with him. Finn and Rose were awfully close to each other, their shoulders brushing when they moved. 

“Wha?” Poe asked, his mouth still full of food. You made a face in disgust. In all the years you had known him, his manners had only ever gotten worse. 

“Have you seen Rey anywhere?” you asked, forcing yourself to keep your voice casual. “There’s something I need to talk to her about.”

“What do you need to talk to her about?” Poe asked after he had swallowed his food at least. “You can talk to me.”

“No, I need to talk to her,” you insisted, and Poe’s eyes went to your neck, taking in the bruising around it suspiciously. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and you shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. It felt like he was judging you for something, though you weren’t sure what. 

“Haven’t seen her,” Poe said with a shrug, turning away from you. You made a rude gesture to his back, drawing a sharp bark of laughter from Finn and a shocked noise from Rose. You figured Poe knew but had been told not to tell you and walked away. You picked up some dinner, and stalked back to your tent. You kept a keen eye out for Rey, but still didn’t see her anywhere around the base. 

The next two days passed in the same manner--waking up, going about your day nearly in a daze, working as much as you could to get done as early as possible, and then failing to find Rey. Your nights were almost tormented by your dreams of her, and now you had no relief, as you couldn’t risk going back to the Falcon in the middle of the night again just to get caught by her and have the whole cycle start anew. 

It was finally the third day and you felt like you had looked all over every place in Ajan Kloss and Rey was nowhere to be found. The Falcon was still grounded, so you knew she couldn’t be off world, but it was like the other woman had simply disappeared from the planet. Nobody seemed to know where she was, making you even more suspicious. Poe simply kept insisting you could talk to him, his eyes always focused on your neck. 

Which is why it surprised you that Rey was sitting outside your tent when you finally returned for the night, right next to the front flap. She had her eyes closed and seemed to be in her own world. You almost didn’t want to disturb her, she looked so tranquil. But the annoyance of having to look for her and her simply showing up unannounced took over you. 

“Have you been here all day?” you asked, unable to keep the frustration from your voice. You had been all over the resistance base and Rey had been right outside the tent for who knew how long? She had to have known you were looking for her, at this point you had asked everyone on the base if they had seen her. You didn’t take kindly to being made a fool.

Rey jerked when you spoke, and the peacefulness around her shattered like glass. Her eyes went wide as she looked up at you, scrambling to her feet. You could see her mouth open and close a couple of times, like she wanted to say something but kept stopping herself before she could. She seemed even more flustered than you had felt over the past few days. There was a blush on her face, crawling upwards from her neck like a wildfire.

“Not all day,” Rey finally replied when she was on her feet, and now it was your turn to look up at her. “I ran the training course for most of the day.” That would explain why you wouldn’t have been able to find her--the training course was deep out in the jungle, far beyond where you could have gone. Someone had to have lied to you, though. Poe would be hearing from you in the morning.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” you huffed, trying not to sound too annoyed. You had better reasons to be annoyed than something as petty as that--like the fading bruising on your neck or her disappearance. Rey’s eyes lingered around your throat, and for a brief moment you thought you saw a flash of an emotion that looked like desire on her face, but it was quickly gone. You tucked the information away though, promising yourself to act on it quickly. 

“I wanted to apologize for, you know,” Rey said, her voice trailing off, her right hand coming up to gesture helplessly at your throat. Her eyes were still on it, but now she looked nothing but apologetic. 

“Using your scary space magic powers on me and slamming me into a wall?” you asked, with a small pause before continuing, “And choking me?”

“Yes, that,” Rey said, her right hand coming up to scratch awkwardly at the back of her neck. “I wanted to apologize for you getting hurt from using the Force on you.” The distinction was small, but it was there, you noted. She wasn’t sorry that she used the Force on you, only that you were hurt. 

There was something about the look on her face--she was embarrassed and apologetic on the surface, yes, but there was an emotion in her eyes that didn’t quite fit. There was a longing in them. You decided to go out on a limb, one that could end up with you being Forced choked again, or worse. Or better, a small voice whispered in your mind, but you chose to ignore it.

“Would you like to come in?” you asked, ignoring her apology for the time being. It felt wrong to discuss what happened out in the open, where anybody could come along. You wanted to be alone with her again, though the pain in your neck from before reminded you it might not be the best of ideas. Rey’s eyes widened but she nodded and followed you into your tent. 

You gave silent thanks that your roommate was gone. Though now it was becoming increasingly clear that the tents were not meant for two people to stand, as Rey was nearly on top of you. You sat down on your bed, and took a bit of pleasure as Rey looked around the small space to realize there was no other place to sit besides next to you. You took pity on her and moved to one side, offering up ample space for her to sit and not be too close to you. 

“You should hate me,” Rey started, having sat down. Now she wasn’t looking at you at all, but at a space behind your head. Part of you wanted to assure her that you didn’t hate her, and had dreamt about her for the past four nights. That probably would set her off running again, which was the opposite of what you wanted to happen. But you couldn’t hate her for lashing out on you when she came across you working on the Falcon, you probably would have done the same thing to someone else. 

You frowned, unsure how to collect your thoughts on the topic of the other thing that had happened--the charged moment that had passed between the two of you. You didn’t want to scare her, but something inside of you told you that she was as lonely as you were. Call it a hunch, call it the Force, there was a certainty in you that here was a kindred spirit. 

“I don’t,” you replied, your voice huskier than you thought it would be. You worried at your bottom lip with your teeth, “I won’t lie and say it wasn’t terrifying but that’s not all it was.” You wondered how much more you could say without her running out of the tent. Despite your gut feeling this could all go terribly wrong--perhaps Rey was lonely in a different way. Maybe the loneliness and horniness were truly driving you mad. 

“It’s not?” Rey questioned, her eyes shooting up to meet yours, a question lingering unspoken between the two of you. The spark was there again, growing in the space between your bodies. You decided to embrace it, chase after it without a second thought now. 

“No, there was something else I felt, and I think you felt it too,” you said, taking a risk to reach out and grab her hand. You can see as she tenses up, part of her wanting to move away but she holds herself steady. But there it was, just beneath your skin, the familiar thrill of lust. It felt magnified, like it was reflecting back from Rey as well. 

“I’m not sure what I felt,” Rey replied, though it sounded like her mouth had suddenly gone dry, the words catching in her throat. “But I don’t think it was bad.”

There was still hesitancy about her, her eyes going far away to a place you couldn’t touch. You knew Rey had a mysterious past, more so than others in the resistance. You wondered if the past was what was holding her back in this moment. You didn’t press her any more than that, relishing in how soft her hand felt in yours. Your hand barely could wrap around hers.

“Can you tell me how you felt?” you asked, forcing yourself to stay silent as you watched Rey think it over. You didn’t want to rush her, didn’t want to rush this. Rey wasn’t a machine you could take apart to see how the inside worked. You had waited days to speak to her, and you could wait a few moments longer. 

“Alive,” Rey whispered, her voice barely audible to you at all, and you had to lean forward to catch her next word, “Powerful.” She turned her head and her eyes met yours. Her irises almost look blacked, her pupils were so wide as they started into yours. You felt like she was looking right through you now, using the Force to stare straight into the heart of you.

“Dangerous,” she said, and your eyes flickered down to her lips without thinking, and you hastily drew your eyes back to hers again. Your own lips were slightly parted, and you were breathing heavier than the situation called for. You weren’t sure who started to lean in first but suddenly Rey was right in front of you, so close you could feel her breath on your lips. Your eyes drifted shut and her lips touched yours, feather soft. 

Even with her light touch, it was like a fire exploded inside your chest. Your free hand came up automatically, reaching towards Rey’s shoulder to bring you even closer to her. Rey’s lips pressed harder against your own, her own hands coming up to your shoulders to push you back on the bed. You pulled away only briefly to maneuver yourself up onto the bed, Rey planted between your legs. Her lips returned to yours as soon as you were settled back against the bed, one arm propping herself up and the other trying to pull your shirt over your head. Part of your mind screamed that this was going too fast, but the much louder part was desperate to get her hands on you. 

“Hey, I saw Poe and he said that Rey was looking for you,” Kaz said, entering the tent, her head bent down as she looked at her datapad. You and Rey froze, your shirt half way up your stomach, just beneath your breasts. You had no idea what to do now. Kaz looked up when you didn’t respond and her mouth dropped open in a little “o”.

“I… will go tell Poe she found you,” Kaz said, after a tense moment, her own face red now too. As soon as she was out of the tent Rey pulled back from you. You smoothed your shirt down as she awkwardly stood. You thought this would be the end of it--Rey’s face was an entirely new shade of red, and she couldn’t seem to look at you again. Whatever had been happening had been shattered the moment Kaz entered the tent. 

It was just as well, you thought, Perhaps this had been enough to get her out of your system. You had been able to kiss, to touch. Maybe it was the shock you needed to clear your thoughts of her and get back to normalcy. You sighed, just slightly as Rey moved to the front of the tent, not bothering to say goodbye. 

“Wait until everyone is asleep, and then come to my tent,” Rey said, pausing by the front flap, her voice soft but firm. Your breath hitched, drinking in her words and any implication you could glean from them. “If you want.”

Rey didn’t wait for a response before she left, leaving you alone to your racing thoughts. You flopped back onto the bed, your hands coming up to your face. You could hardly believe what was happening. You still had hours to deliberate about even going to meet her. 

“What the kriff was that?” Kaz burst back in, interrupting any train of thought you had going. You stayed laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what you would be able to tell her. “Were you making out with Rey? In our tent?”

“That would appear to be what was happening,” You replied, trying to keep your voice even, despite the lingering lust you felt coursing through you, “Before you interrupted us.”

“How was I supposed to know you would be trying to get it on in here?” Kaz huffed, getting herself ready for bed. “It’s not like you left your shoes outside for me to know.”

“Nobody actually does that,” you shot back with a roll of your eyes. “That’s completely a legend.”

“I don’t know, I see Rose’s boots outside of Finn’s tent quite often,” Kaz said, a teasing note in her voice. You ignored her, electing to use one of the shared refreshers on the base to waste time before you would be able to meet up with Rey. You spent extra time washing all the dirt that collected throughout the day off you. Normally you were a quick shower taker, scrubbing the worst of things off of you and leaving again, as you knew more would simply collect. But tonight was different, and you wanted to at least give the appearance of decent hygiene. 

There was nothing to do but wait now. Kaz was blessedly silent when you returned, and you were left to your own thoughts. Your body was almost vibrating with nervousness as you laid in bed, pretending to read something on your datapad. All of your personal reading was, however, steamy romances. While you knew something was going to happen tonight, it felt odd to read about having sex before you actually did. 

“I’m going to sleep now,” Kaz announced, breaking the silence around you both. You looked over at her to see her wiggle her eyebrows at you before turning onto her other side. Despite her proclamation you still gave it another half hour before you snuck out of your tent, slipping on a robe and some shoes before you left. 

Camp wasn’t quite as silent as you had hoped it would be. As you passed the spot set up as the main command center, you could hear Poe and Leia talking. Leia spoke with a soft urgency, while Poe seemed almost angry about something. You didn’t want to get caught, and quickly moved past them as sneakily as you could. 

Luckily for you Rey’s tent wasn’t much further from the command center. You took a deep breath, gathering up some courage, before you slid off your boots, placing them next to the entrance. You could almost hear Kaz in the back of your mind, teasing you about it, but knew that now wasn’t the time to be thinking of your roommate. A small shiver ran down your spine, and with a satisfied smile, you pushed your way inside to meet Rey.

Rey jumped from her bad as you entered, and your breath hitched when you saw her. She had stripped down to just her underwear and her undershirt. Her hands were twisting in front of her, all nervous energy, a far cry from how sure she had seemed before when she told you to meet her. 

“I wasn’t sure if I should be naked or not,” she said, finally drawing your eyes away from her pale legs. They were longer than you had imagined; thin, but you could see the muscle underneath. “I’ve never done this before. At least, not in this way.”

“Never been with another woman before?” you asked, stepping a bit closer. Rey's hands stopped twisting, and clenched just briefly before relaxing once more. She took a deep breath but you had to strain to hear the next words out of her mouth. 

“Never not been paid for it before,” she replied, and a few things fell into place for you. It made sense now that Rey had run from the first charged moment between you two. Despite her confidence in other areas, this was a new territory for her. And any desire she’d been able to explore before the Resistance had been bought and paid for. It also explained why she had gravitated to taking control--simply because now she could. 

“We can talk about that,” you said, keeping your voice soft and gentle as you moved towards her. You stopped right in front of her, bringing your right hand up to grab her chin to make her look into your eyes. “Or we can find out what it’s like when you’re not being paid.”

Rey’s eyes darkened, her own hand coming up to grab your wrist. Something in her demeanor completely shifted--you wondered if this was all a play to get you to let your guard down. Your eyes never left hers as she drew your hand up to her mouth, opening her lips to bring the pads of your fingers into her mouth. She bit down on them, just barely, making you extremely happy you had taken the care to clean yourself. 

“I think we should find out what it’s like,” she whispered when your fingers were removed from her mouth. You nodded, trying to keep the desperate noises inside of you. You pulled back, quickly shedding your clothes until you were stark naked in front of her. 

“Lay down on the bed,” she instructed, and you compiled without thinking. You laid yourself back on the bed, noting that it was much larger than yours, while Rey took a seat on it as far away from you as she could be. Her eyes were drifting all over you, drinking in the sight of your naked body in front of her. 

“I want to watch you touch yourself,” Rey said, her voice low and almost dangerous the way it sounded. A stroke of inspiration hit you, and you brought your arms up to cross in front of you, rubbing your hands up and down them as if you were cold. A smirk played on your face until invisible hands grabbed at your thighs, pulling them roughly apart. In an instant your cunt was exposed to her, the cold air hitting it. Your hands dropped down with a yelp, trying to cover yourself up. 

“You know what I meant, sweetheart,” Rey said, the pet name sounding anything sweet coming from her. “I want you to show me what you like.”

One of your hands stayed at your cunt, teasing your clit with feather soft touches. The other came up to stroke down your face, down your neck, until you stopped in front of your chest. You kept eye contact with her as you pinched and rolled your nipple, until it was standing in a stiff peak. You made to give the same attention to the other, but Rey sent out another wave of the Force, using it to play with your nipple the same way you had. You whimpered softly as she increased the pressure, an almost curious look on her face. 

The hand that was playing with your clit increased pressure as well, your fingers rubbing tight little circles. You had always been with the Resistance, and so when you touched yourself it was always to get yourself to orgasm as fast as you could. 

“Slow down,” Rey whispered, her voice chiding. “This won’t be much fun if it’s over so soon.”

“I can do this all night,” you shot back, but listened to her. Your fingers slowed around your clit, before dipping down to tease at your opening. Rey’s eyes focused on where your lower lips were open, and she licked her lips at the sight of you. “What do you like?”

“I’m not sure,” she replied, her eyes never straying from where your fingers were playing. “But I’m finding that I quite enjoy this.”

“Watching me?” you asked, dipping a finger into yourself, arching up when you did. “Bossing me around?”

“All of it,” Rey said, before instructing you, “Add another finger.” You did as you were told, rubbing your fingers around to gather up enough slick to slip in two fingers with little resistance. Your hips came up on their own, fucking yourself on your fingers in front of her. Your hand left your nipples, moving down to rub at your clit as your fingers moved in and out. Rey continued to use the Force to play with your nipples, pinching them harshly as you climbed closer to an orgasm. 

“Stop,” Rey said, though you didn’t stop. You were chasing after the pleasure you felt, and you didn’t want to stop yet. You were forced to when Rey used the Force to pull your hands away, leaving you teetering on the edge. 

“Why?” you whined, squirming on the bed, trying to pull your hands up to continue. Rey asked slightly, moving closer to you. You watched as she lowered herself down, until she was eye level with your cunt. 

“Because I want to do this,” Rey replied, before her tongue darted out with a tentative lick to your folds. It was only the Force holding you down that kept you from coming off the bed again. Her mouth was hot, but her tongue was soft. She was doing nothing more than exploring now, delicate licks that were driving you insane with how good they felt. 

You tried to hold as still as you could, letting her take her time to explore. She licked a small circle around your clit, and then right down your slit. She moved back, rubbing her lips together as she savored the taste of you.

"Well?" you asked, nearly cumming just by watching her. "How do I taste?"

"Divine," was her only reply before she started back in on you, her lips encircling your clit as she teased at it. Her fingers moved up, one slipping inside you before being joined by another. The Force abated on your arms, allowing your hands to fly up and tangle your fingers in her hair. Your hips moved in time with her fingers. 

"Don't stop," you moaned out. Rey hummed in agreement, the vibrations traveling through you. Her fingers moved at a steady pace, driving you closer to the edge once again. They curled up, hitting a spot inside of you that made you see the stars from inside the tent. You curled up off the bed, almost completely around her head as you came for her. 

She pulled back, breathing just as heavy as you were, and untangled herself from you. She moved back to her original position, her eyes shining when they met yours. She didn't look predatory or nervous now, simply confident and alive.

"Well, that was fun," she said, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. You fell back with a giggle, still coming down from your orgasm. After a comfortable moment of silence, you looked back up at her. 

"I can return the favor," you said, wiggling your fingers in her direction. "I might not have any space magic but I have been told that I'm quite good with my hands."

"No," Rey replied, and you barely had time to feel rejected before she continued on, "I think I just like watching you get yours."

“That certainly works for me,” you said, though there was still a part of you that was sad you wouldn’t be able to get your hands on her as well. Rey surprised you again when she yawned and instead of pulling back again she laid down beside you. 

“Should I stay?” you asked, though Rey was already winding herself around you. She was laid on her right side facing you, her right arm coming to lay behind your neck. Her legs wound themself in with yours and her free arm draped itself over you. 

“I can hear you, you know,” Rey murmured, her voice heavy with sleep. “Through the Force. I can hear you when you dream.” She was asleep after that, already snoring as soon as she was out. 

The thought gave you pause, that she could hear you calling out for her in your dreams. She had been listening to you whine for her for days now. She must have chosen to ignore you until today. Did she get off listening to you as well?

You counted to one hundred before you moved out of the bed, as softly as you could so you wouldn’t disturb her. You pulled on your clothes in silence, slipping out once again. You couldn’t be sure how much time had passed, but the camp was totally silent once again. It felt like you held your breath until you were back in your own tent. You sat on your bed, thinking about the night. 

“So how was it?” Kaz asked, causing you to yelp for a totally different reason. She was propped up on her elbows now, looking at you with eager eyes. “I waited up for you. Just in case.”

You were touched by that. You wanted to tell her that you were safe with Rey but Kaz had been there to see the worst of the bruising. You knew she was worried about you, about being alone with someone who could do all those things without even lifting a finger. You flopped onto your bed with a groan.

“That bad?” Kaz snickered, but there was no malice behind it. You snorted at her, pulling yourself up onto the bed fully now, curling up around yourself. “You were gone for two hours.”

Two hours didn’t make sense to you. It had felt like no time had passed at all. You had shown up, Rey gave you an intense orgasm, and then you were back in bed. You ran your hands over your face, dragging the skin down as you went. 

“It wasn’t bad, not at all,” you replied. “It was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever cum harder in my life.”

“You are so lucky,” Kaz said, causing you both to laugh. Kaz yawned loudly, but asked, “She kicked you out, though?”

“....no, I left,” you admitted, though you were loath to do so. It didn’t reflect kindly upon you that you had made like a ghost in the night and left without saying a word.

“And you said goodbye, right?” Kaz pressed, sensing the hesitation in your voice. “Because it would be rude to leave her while she was sleeping.”

“I couldn’t stay the night!” you insisted, though your voice sounded hollow even to you, “What would people say if they saw me with the damn hero of the resistance, doing the walk of shame?”

“What will they say when they hear you just left?” Kaz countered and you groaned again. You knew she was right but you had felt the need to leave. There was something almost oppressive about her arms around you, the way it felt like they caged you in. You had moved without thinking, getting yourself back to your own bed before you stopped to consider the consequences. 

Don’t be mad, you thought, as loud as you can. You hoped Rey would be able to feel you through the Force like she had been able to say. You said nothing more to Kaz, lost in your own thoughts now. 

Rey’s intensity had driven you off. She had been so singularly focused on you that it frightened you more than her using the Force on you. The sex you’d had before was a give and take, but she had only explored you. You knew part of it was what she had gone through, but it felt like she had been getting pleasure from controlling yours. It wasn’t something you knew how to handle. 

You set your alarm for as early as you could while still getting a healthy amount of sleep. You wanted to wake up early, to go to explain things to her. It wasn't that you wanted to leave, but it wasn't like you quite wanted to stay either. And you weren't against seeing her again. 

Your dreams were blurry and disjointed that night. You weren't being held down by anything, but being chased by it. There was something in the forest of Ajan Kloss, and it wanted to hurt you. You ran as fast as you could; there was a voice behind you, taunting you. You couldn't make out what it was saying, only the threatening tone of the voice. 

You tripped over a vine on the ground, falling with a loud thud. Your shoulder screamed out in pain as you landed heavily on it. You could hear the beast crashing through the woods behind you. You tried to scramble to your feet, but something grabbed your ankle, pulling you back down before you could even get up. You turned, only to see Rey. There was something wrong with her, though. 

She was dressed in all black, and her eyes had a yellow tinge to them. They looked wild, unhinged, like there was a feral thing to her now. She snarled at you, and you could see her teeth were sharpened into points, like some sort of animal. 

You screamed, but her grip only tightened, using the Force and her strength to drag down to her, back until you were underneath her. She had you pinned down, though you thrashing about as much as you could. She was too strong, and the Force was too much for you to escape, though. 

"You're mine now," this wrong Rey growled at you. "Mine and nobody else's." With that she brought her mouth down to your neck and bit down harshly, drawing another scream out of you. 

You woke up with a scream on your tongue, though it strangled in your throat before it could release. You swallowed the bile that was growing in your throat, trying to shake the remaining fear from your body. 

It was a dream, only a dream, you thought to yourself, forcing yourself to lay down, though little shakes ran through your body. Now that you knew Rey could feel you through the Force you wondered if the inverse was true--was she projecting herself onto you? Was the animal you saw in your dreams lurking down inside Rey?

You shook for the rest of night, trying to chase those yellow eyes from your dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the departure and late update- I was sick and then work exploded. I'm feeling fine now, and work is slowing down so updates should return to every Sunday.


	4. A Gracious Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see Rey again, and the Falcon leaves for its next adventure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: light exhibitionism. I can’t think of anything else but if I missed something please let me know!

Your alarm went off as loud and as early as you had set it. You felt like you hadn’t slept at all the night before, but you dragged yourself out of bed anyways. The sleep you had missed clung to the corners of your eyes, and slowed your movements. You definitely needed something to help get you through the day, but you wanted to stop by Rey’s tent first, and you hoped you would catch her before she woke up. 

There were more eyes on you today when you made your way over, but you ignored them once again. Before you knew it, you were outside her tent once again. You didn’t if you should knock or just try to enter once again, maybe slip inside and back into bed before she woke up. You had never been in this sort of situation before--you were well versed in one night stands, but this had the feeling of something more, something deeper. 

Something darker. 

The decision was made for you when the flap of the tent was flung open and Rey was in front of you, pants thrown on now as well. Her mouth was open, like she was about to say something, and there was a furrow in her brow. You could see a gamut of emotions run over her face before her mouth snapped shut and her face turned into surprise.

“You were gone when I woke up,” she said. You cringed at the tone in her voice. She didn’t sound angry, but lost and rather upset. After her all too casual confession the night before, you had probably reminded her of a client. You knew she had a right to be mad, but it didn’t make confronting it easier. 

“I have trouble sleeping in a bed that’s not my own,” you replied, but the line rang hollow. You tried to remind yourself that despite the orgasm Rey had given you, you didn’t owe her anything. The justification fell flat in your own head. You did owe her honesty, at the very least. She had been the one to start it all. 

“Well,” Rey said, her tone brittle, and you would give anything to be anywhere else than where you are now, under her gaze that had now gone flat, “I’ll see you at the Falcon.”

“Right,” you agreed, and turned away from her. As soon as it felt like she wasn’t tracking your every move, you picked up your pace, moving as fast as you could despite the lack of sleep. You made a quick stop at the caf to pick up some coffee, sipping it down and ignored the way it made your throat burn. Once you felt marginally more awake you finally were able to make your way to the Falcon. 

Rey was already at the Falcon when you arrived, and barely gave you a second glance. You winced, but you knew you deserved it. You had been the one to leave, after all. Part of you wanted to run to tell her, and to tell her about the dream you had the night before, but when you saw her eyes you could swear that they were yellow. You shook your head and forced yourself to report to Aftab. 

“Busy day today,” he commented to you, when you were able to find him. “Leia wants the Falcon up and ready to take flight by tomorrow morning.”

“What?!” You exclaimed, poking at your datapad to see what else had to be done for all the repairs. Panic climbed its way up your chest as you looked at all the little things that needed to be done. There was no way everything would be done on time before the next morning, even if everybody worked through the night. You had no idea what could be so important that Leia would want to risk the Falcon--let alone the people who flew it. 

“Just do what you have to do to make it work, and then get some sleep,” Aftab said, reading the expression on your face and ignoring it. “You look tired.”

You didn’t reply but snorted at him and set yourself to work. The day passed by slowly, despite the things you managed to accomplish. Your mind wandered, thinking back to the night before. In every respite you had during the day you didn’t think about the way Rey looked between yours legs, focused and on a mission. 

Your thoughts were consumed by the eyes you saw in your dream. There was something that you couldn’t shake from them. It didn’t feel to you like a dream, not the way her eyes bored into you, not the way you could feel the change in the air when Rey had caught you. It felt like something that was going to happen, and you had just seen it too soon. You added it as another reason to speak with Rey about it.

A switch had been flipped, and while before you thought she had left the planet, she was everywhere today. You nearly bumped into her at one point, startled into grabbing her hand when she dropped what she was holding. Your eyes met, and there was nothing yellow in them now. You paused for what felt like an eternity, but the moment passed and you were back to work again. 

You found it hard to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day, but somehow the work got done. The Falcon wasn’t pretty, and it was still nowhere near completely repaired, but it would fly in the morning, and it was highly unlikely anybody would die from flying it. You finished up your last repair and stepped back to look at it, allowed yourself to be proud for a moment. It had been a long few days trying to get everything ready but you had. You were the one who had helped fix the Falcon this time. 

You found yourself drawn to the cockpit again, though this time it wasn’t to make any repairs. You found Rey there, staring silently out the window. Her eyes were glazed over, and you thought for a moment that she was just relaxing, but the furrow in her brow betrayed her inner thoughts. You turned to leave, but Rey’s voice stopped you.

“Stay,” she said, not bothering to turn to you. You sat down in the copilot seat next to her, staring out the window instead of over at her. You had no idea how to broach the topic of your dream or the topic of the night before. 

“Something is bothering you,” Rey started, and then paused. Neither of you were looking at the other still. You forced yourself not to react to it though, allowing her to lead the conversation. “I could feel your distress today.”

“I had a dream last night, after I left.” You hesitated before going on, your words coming out in a rush, “You weren’t yourself.. There was something evil in you. It scared me.” You spilled out all that had happened in your dream, and Rey’s face crumpled. 

Rey sighed, sinking down further into the seat, and her hands came up to cover her face. It was like you had given her the worst news of her life. The silence stretched between you both, somewhere between uncomfortable and not. You didn’t offer anything else up to her, waiting to see what Rey might say next.

“I was afraid you would say that,” Rey said, finally taking her hands away from her face. You turned to look at her now, worried by the haunted look in her eyes. There was something in them she was trying to chase away, but you didn’t know how to help her. 

“Is...there something wrong?” you asked her, hating how it sounded. You knew it was the wrong thing to say, but this wasn’t a machine--Rey was another person, all her worries buried inside of her in a way you couldn’t fix by yourself. 

“When I was training with Luke, I saw something, and it scared him,” Rey whispered out, her eyes finally meeting yours. You can see tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them away. “And there was something there when Kylo Ren offered me his hand. Some small part of me that almost took it.”

“But you didn’t,” you replied, confused by what she was saying. There had been a spark of something darker in her the night before, but it had been something tame. It had been the same darkness that grew within you. “You turned away from him; you’re here.”

“Am I here because I want to be or was I just scared?” Rey replied, and you had nothing to say to that. You turn your seat to face her, and Rey did the same. The tension was heavy between you, and it felt like there was nothing to do about it. You did the first thing that came to mind. 

You leaned over and kissed her. 

Rey gasped into your mouth, allowing you to slip your tongue into her. Her hands came up to tangle in your hair, and you let yourself be guided to sit in her lap, straddling her. Rey groaned into your mouth, breaking away to come up for air. 

“Are you trying to distract me?” she whispered, and you smirked down to her before kissing her again. Her hands tightened on your hips, grinding your covered cunt down into her. The ridge of your pants pressed into you just enough to help you find friction against your clit. You knew this wasn’t the best way to distract Rey from whatever was troubling her, but it certainly was a good one. 

You let her dictate the pace, her hands were the ones guiding your hips. Rey appeared to be reading your body like a book as well. She was completely in control of you, working you towards an orgasm like it was something she did everyday. You pulled away with a moan and Rey took the opportunity to attack your neck, kissing the fading bruising softly.

You were nearly there when there was a loud crash from elsewhere in the Falcon. Rey paused her ministrations, staring up at you with wide eyes. You sat back and moved to get yourself off of her, but Rey tightened her grip. She held you in place on her, working your hips even slower now as you heard someone come closer to the cockpit. 

“Rey,” you half hissed, half moaned. You wanted to push yourself away from her, but the look in her eyes had you fastened in place. 

“Have you seen- oh my.” A tech walked into the cockpit: a young Bothan who had their face in a datapad until they looked up and froze in place when they saw the two of you in front of them. “I am so sorry!”

Rey’s hand left your side and made a small wave in the air. You swore you saw something shimmering around it, as if she was gathering up the Force in her hand. 

“You saw nothing,” Rey said, her voice nearly flat with how neutral she had made it. She was completely devoid of emotion, but her gaze was intense on the Bothan. “And you will leave this place, remembering nothing.”

“I saw nothing,” the Bothan repeated back to her, their voice dreamy, and their eyes glazed over. “And I will leave this place, remembering nothing.” They turned and walked back the way they came from. Rey’s hand returned to your hip, and pressed your clit down hard against the seam of your pants. An orgasm ripped through you, and washed over you with a surprising ferocity.

“Rey!” you moaned, your head dropped down to her neck, your voice low in her ear. Your hands came up to grip down hard on her shoulders, and you used her for leverage as you rode yourself down on her. 

There was a brief moment where you looked at each other, your breath labored and heavy. She looked at you with a dark glint in her eyes. Something had changed between you, the spark from before growing into a wild charge. 

“Meet me in my tent again tonight?” Rey asked, and the moment shattered between you two. Your eyebrows raised at her, which caused Rey to sigh. 

“To talk,” she insisted, and ignored when you looked down to where your bodies touched. “Talk and nothing more.”

“Yeah, that seemed to work well this time,” you said with a giggle as you finally moved off of her. Your legs shook as you stood in front of her. There was a brief moment of silence before you finally spoke again, “I will, uh, see you later then.”

Rey simply nodded in return. You turned and forced yourself to walk as normal as possible out of the Falcon. Despite the fact that there was nobody around you there was the omnipresent feeling that you were being watched. You could feel eyes all raking all over your body, and the feeling continued until you were secure in your tent. 

“What’s wrong?” Kaz asked as soon as you were inside. You shook your head, and your face smoothed out again. “Why did you look like that?”

“I don’t look like anything,” you replied, ignoring the confused look on her face. You said nothing more as you got ready for bed, going through the motions to make it look like you were staying in for the rest of the night. Kaz didn’t ask you anything else, but shared a few rations with you for a small dinner. 

The night drug on, in the way it always did before the Falcon went back out. There was an undercurrent of nervousness that ran through the base. The resistance kept sending people out, and fewer returned almost every time. Now your own nervousness returned, but it wasn’t just for the ship you worked on so much as it was for the people on it. 

A loud snore from Kaz snapped you out of the reverie you had been in. You wanted something smaller to work on, something you could fix quickly and move on from. The entanglement you had gotten yourself into felt larger than you could handle. You wanted to run away from it, but there was no place to go now. 

You braced yourself for the coming talk, and slipped out of bed as quietly as you could. You pulled on some pants and a jacket to make yourself look presentable again and made your way to Rey. The nervousness from before transformed into something new, and it thrummed through your veins as you finally arrived. You paused for a moment outside, and gathered up all the courage you could find before walking into the tent again.

Rey was relaxed on the bed, wearing her hair down and nothing but a shirt and underwear. You took her in, drinking down how soft and sensual she looked without trying. She looked up at you as a small smirk played over her lips. She shifted over on the bed and patted the space next to her. You took off your jacket and pants to mimic her before getting into bed as well.

“This doesn’t seem very conducive to talking,” you said, your body tense with being so close to her like this. 

“I think you’ll find it forces one to be more open,” Rey replied with a nod and a sage smile on her face. 

“Is that something you learned from Luke Skywalker?” you asked; the words escaped your mouth before your brain caught up, and you slapped your hands over your mouth. Your face flushed with embarrassment but Rey laughed softly. 

“Master Luke taught me a lot of things,” Rey said, her voice still light with laughter, “but this wasn’t one of them.” Her face fell, just slightly, as a wave of worry took it over. You moved your hands down, taking a chance and reaching out to grab Rey’s hand with yours. 

“What did you want to talk about?” you whispered, and Rey’s hand tightened around yours. You weren’t sure why you were here. You knew you would not be sleeping with Rey tonight, but you had felt compelled to show up despite it all. The part of you that saw a problem and needed to fix it wanted to help but there was no way to. 

“There are so many people on this base that want to be there for me,” Rey started, her voice as quiet as yours. “So many people who only see the brightest side of me. The entire hope of the Resistance balanced on my shoulders. But there’s a darkness inside of me, one I don’t want to run from anymore.”

You knew the feeling well--a legacy that you had no idea how to live up to. The feeling that the slightest wrong move and the world around you would shatter, the illusion of peace along with it. The feeling that you had to be the best and not pause for a moment or you would be pulled apart. 

“But,” Rey continued on, her voice bringing you back to her, “you saw it. And you didn’t run from it. You came towards it.”

“I ran away from you,” you replied, and cringed, as you remembered how frantically you had escaped the night before. “I didn’t stay.”

“You came in the first place,” Rey insisted, “and you’re here again, even after your dream last night.”

You digested what she said, running the words over in your head. It was true, you had run right towards her after she had slammed you into a wall, and you were back in her bed again, for the second night in a row but--

“Just because I saw something physical I wanted,” you started, and paused. You had no idea how to put what you were feeling into words, how to let Rey know that you understood her, but didn’t know where to start.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” Rey said, picking up what you had left unspoken. Your eyes met hers, and you were caught in them, green and brown with the smallest ring of blue in them. How had you ever thought they were yellow? 

“I just don’t think that running from whatever scares you is the right thing to do,” you said with more conviction that you felt. “I think there’s a virtue in embracing it so it doesn’t overwhelm you.”

“That’s what I want to try,” Rey replied, holding your gaze. “With you.” Her confession made you pause, and it felt like the air had left the room while you considered. Was that what you wanted? To be used by her, let her use you as a physical means of working out whatever was inside of her? The answer came to you quicker than you could have imagined. 

“Yes,” you said, and you knew you would have never been able to say no. As soon as the word left your mouth you felt deep inside it was the right choice to make, that this was the correct path to go down. 

Rey didn’t smile, but you could feel her entire body relax, her body sunk down into the bed. You relaxed with her, your hands still linked between you. You had so many more things you wanted to ask her, but Rey leaned over and kissed you now. Her free hand reached over to tug your shirt up, but you stopped her before she got too far. 

“Let me?” you asked once you had pulled away from her mouth. Rey laid back and looked up at you with a hesitant face, her eyes guarded. You positioned yourself over her, half way on top of her so she had room to move. You dipped your head down to kiss her, and she caught your lower lip between her teeth as soon as your lips touched. Your hand moved away from hers to help prop you up, and your free hand ghosted against the front of her underwear. 

Rey gasped, your lip released from hers, and her head fell back against her pillow. Her eyes squeezed shut, like she was trying to keep herself in the moment with you. You bent your forefinger and dragged your knuckle up her covered cunt, pressing down slightly. Rey’s hips jerked up into your touch, and you could feel her tense up under you. 

Your hand smoothed itself down the front of her again, before climbing back up to sneak into her underwear. Your fingers ran through the soft hair that covered her cunt and down to her slit. You found her clit and rubbed a soft circle, studying her reactions to see what worked for her. Her face remained the same, a statue as you tried to pleasure her. 

You pressed down harder and her hips twitched again. You could feel her getting wetter, allowing your finger to slide around her clit easier. Her body managed to tense up even more. She was rigid underneath you but you could hear the softest of moans escaping her lips. You rubbed her clit once, twice, three times more and she froze completely. Her mouth opened into a small ‘o,’ and Rey stayed like that for a moment before she relaxed again. You pulled your hand out of her underwear and brought your fingers up to lick off her wetness. 

You relaxed down next to her, trying to keep your face neutral when she finally opened her eyes to look over at you. The worry had fled from her face, and she seemed content now. Her hand came up to cup your cheek and you pressed your face into her hand for a moment before pulling away.

“Stay?” Rey asked of you for the second time that night. Now you wanted to tell her no, to repeat the lie that you couldn’t sleep in a stranger's bed, but you knew she would see through that- after all wasn’t the entire resistance a moving, living thing? You didn’t say anything but nodded and laid yourself down next to her. 

It was a testament to how Rey had lived that as soon as you settled down next to her that her eyes closed and she was suddenly asleep. Her body was different in sleep, loose and soft. She looked her age, barely a woman and thrust to the front of the war. 

You tried to fall asleep next to her, but your mind kept wandering away from you. You froze like she had before when her arms reached out for you, drawing you into her, and holding you in place. You didn’t know what to do now, but tried to close your eyes, and ignore the way her arms trapped you. 

It felt like hours had passed before you finally fell asleep. You slept soundly through the night, waking up alone in the bed. You frowned, confused by the lack of Rey next to you, but got out of bed anyways. You pulled your clothes on and walked to the door of the tent, pulling the flap open and stopped short when Rey was standing in front of you—her eyes yellow and her lightsaber ignited. 

“Going somewhere?” she asked, before she thrusted her lightsaber through your stomach, and everything went black--

You jerked awake again, sitting up, and knocked Rey’s arms off you. She was on her feet in an instant, the lightsaber from your dream held aloft in front of her. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes alert as they darted around the tent, “What happened?”

“Put that away,” you told her, and Rey did as you asked without speaking. She sat back down next to you, the lightsaber still in her hand, now silent. 

“Did you have another dream?” she asked, her voice tinged with worry. You nodded, and she sighed. The lightsaber disappeared back to where it had been hidden, and she gathered you in her arms again, but this time you let yourself be held. You twined your arms around her and settled in them as the night waned on. 

Finally, the morning was rising on Ajan Kloss, and Rey was the one to move away from you. She pressed her forehead to yours in a silent goodbye and slipped out of her tent first. You laid in bed, waiting a moment before following her. You made your way to the Falcon, worried when it wobbled a bit. 

Against the odds, your eyes found Rey’s; she was back in her seat in the cockpit. Your eyes locked for the briefest of moments, and then the Falcon was shooting off into space, and you were left alone on the ground, the Resistance moving around you as you watched her fly away.


	5. A Tempestuous Takeoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey leaves on her next adventure. You and Rose share a talk. A question is asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I look pretty good for a dead bitch.

You moved away from the space where the Falcon had been, floundering a bit when you realized you had nothing to do that day. The Falcon was your project, and now it had left. You had a well earned day to yourself, and already the thoughts creeping in made the day seem long and frightful. 

You hadn’t let yourself feel this way in a while. The dread of watching someone shoot off into space, where you couldn’t see them or help them. There was nothing to do but let go, right when you wanted to hold on even harder. 

You made your way slowly back to your own tent, arms wrapped around yourself, brow furrowed in thought. The light of day, and the prospect of only having your own thoughts as company wasn’t a pleasant idea. You made it halfway back to the tent when Rose popped up in front of you, blocking the back forward. You were surprised by her closeness, she was almost touching you.

“I was told to talk to you,” Rose announced, the tone of her voice leaving no room for argument. You nodded once, unsure of what Rose’s intent was but not wanting to cause a scene and allowed yourself to be dragged to where Rose’s tent was. Her tent was further towards the center of the base, near the command center. 

Like Rey’s own space it was larger than yours, with room for a bigger bed, and three chairs. Rose flopped down onto her bed, comfortable in any situation. You perched on one of her chairs, closest to the door, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. 

“Why am I here?” you asked her, arms still wrapped around yourself. You knew Rose mostly in passing, a friend of Poe and Rey. You two had talked, but nothing in depth enough to suggest she should accost you and bring you to her room. 

“Poe was worried about the bruising around your neck,” Rose stated, chasing right to the point of why she had brought you over. “And he wanted me to ask you about them while Rey was gone, in case you were in trouble. He’s doing the same thing with Rey, right now.”

“How very strategic of you,” you commented dryly, though part of you was touched that they had all come together like this, just in case. You sighed and dropped your arms, hands coming together to fidget in your lap. You weren’t sure where to start. There was so much you were unsure of yourself, let alone how to explain it to someone who was nearly a stranger. 

“You can let Poe know that I’m fine,” you said, wanting to reassure them. You figured Rose would be trying to contact Poe or Finn as soon as you left the tent and wanted to get that part out of the way. “Things with Rey are… complicated.” That was a mild way of putting it. 

“Everything in the Resistance is complicated,” Rose replied, she paused then, and looked like she was thinking of what to say next, “It’s hard to be the one on the ground.” That took your off guard-- of all the things Rose might want to talk to you about, you hadn’t figured this was one of them. 

“I’ve been on the ground my entire life,” you said, and felt the bitterness of the truth in your mouth. You weren’t destined to fight amongst the stars, but you weren’t destined to die among them either. “The feeling of being left behind is nothing new for me.”

“It doesn’t make it any easier,” Rose replied, her retort coming quick. You could tell this was something she had thought about a lot as well. “Especially not after you’ve lost someone.”

The subject was a touchy one for both of you, though Rose’s wound was much more fresh than yours. The lives of those you’d both lost stretched between you, the silence growing larger with every memory that came to mind. You both lost yourself as well, for just a moment, until Rose opened her mouth again. 

“Do you want to explain the bruises?” Rose asked, and your hands came up to your throat to hide anything that might be on there. The bruises were mostly faded now but it made you embarrassed to think about. 

“I startled Rey, and she slammed me up against the side of the cockpit of the Falcon,” you answered, deciding the truth was best in this matter. “So you might want to tell the others to watch out on surprising her.”

“I’ll pass the message along,” Rose said, with a snort. “Do you want to be up there, with them?”

The question took you off guard so you replied with one of your own, “Do you?”

“Of course,” Rose said, her eyes focused on the ceiling of her tent, as if she could see the Falcon out there, “I want it more than anything. But what would I do up there? I’m needed on the ground, running point for Leia. You, on the other hand, could be up there. That ship always needs some repairs.”

She was right--you could be a more mobile mechanic. The Falcon always seemed to accumulate so much damage as soon as it took off that working on it was a round the clock job. You could have offered to go with them and been on that ship when it took off. There was nothing keeping you tethered to the ground, not anymore. 

“I don’t want to end up a martyr,” you said, voice hesitant and soft. This conversation was a minefield just waiting to explode. “I’m more useful alive.”

Rose lapsed into silence, digesting what you had said. She would know, as well as anybody could, what you meant. You wanted to be polite, but there was no point in swathing your words in pleasantries. 

“Would you go if they asked you to?” Rose asked. The question hung between you, but you didn’t know how to reply. You didn’t like to deal in far fetched hypotheticals--there was no way to tell how you would react in a situation unless you were there in it. 

You could say yes, though the universe might then decide to test you and contrive a reason for you to be asked to go. And if you said no, what would Rose think of you then? Would she commend your truth or would you be judged as a coward? 

“I would do what I need to do for the Resistance,” you said, finally settling on an answer. And it was the truth, to an extent. You would do anything for the Resistance, would die for, would try to kill for it. You just hoped you wouldn’t be asked to do either. 

“That is a complete non-answer,” Rose said with a roll of her eyes at you as she called you out. It was strange to you but not unpleasant how quickly she grew comfortable with you. 

“What’s going on with you and Finn?” you asked, ignoring her response. Rose wasn’t the only one who could change the subject on a whim. And Kaz was a bad influence on you. 

“He’s never gotten to even try to be with someone,” Rose said, as a small smile played on her lips. “So we’re showing him the ropes of it all.”

“We?” you asked, latching onto the word. “We who?”

“What?” Rose responded, with a small giggle, “Did I say we?”

“You know damn well you did,” you scoffed, though you both dissolved into giggles. It felt nice to have a respite, a small moment to simply feel human again despite the war. 

“Rose?” a voice called, from outside the front flaps of the tent. It was a voice you had heard before, though never this gently or this close. You jumped to your feet as General Organa walked into the tent and paused right inside of it. 

“I can see I’m interrupting something,” General Organa said, her eyes darting between the two of you. Rose had barely risen from the bed, merely propped herself up on her elbows. 

“I can leave,” you said in a rush, eyeing the door behind her. You felt awkward standing in front of someone you considered to be a living legend. And besides, you reasoned, they probably wanted to talk plans, something you knew nothing about. 

“I’ll come by your tent later,” Rose said, with a teasing tone as you passed General Organa. Your eyes met the General’s for a moment, and you could see something of Rey in them--the way she studied you, seemed to look right through you. 

Once you were safely outside the tent you found yourself lost again. Before you could dwell too much, your stomach interrupted your thoughts with a growl. You walked towards the caf with a brisk pace, wanting to eat and return to your own tent as quickly as possible. Your talk with Rose had been nice, but with everything happening, you now found yourself wanting to be alone. 

You were able to quickly grab something to eat, and thankfully nobody bothered you as you shoved food into your mouth as quickly as you could. Once finished, you escaped back to your tent, finding it blissfully empty. You lay down on your bed, and stared up at the ceiling of the tent. 

You ignored the errant trains of thought that blew through your head, almost begging you to chase them down, and settled on an idea more relaxing--remembering your time with Rey. This type of daydreaming was something you were rarely able to indulge. There was so little room to breathe, let alone tend to baser matters, in a camp like this. 

You let your eyes close as your right hand came up to cup your breast over your clothes, massaging it slightly. You wondered if Rey could feel the way your heart rate picked up through the Force, as your mind imagined her being the one to touch you. You free hand snaked up your shirt, finding its way directly to your nipple. You pinched at it, rolling it around in your fingers until it became a little nub, and kept going, just on the threshold between pleasure and pain. 

You pictured Rey above you, arms on either side of your body. You thought of her pressed against you, looking up into her eyes to see--yellow. 

Your eyes opened with a gasp, and your hands ripped away from your body. You blinked, and tried to slow your breathing back down to a normal rate. You rolled your shoulders once, trying to ease some tension out of them. 

Once you felt like you had calmed down enough to continue you hand went directly down the front of your pants, into your underwear. You were determined to do something that would give you pleasure and force the negative thoughts out of your mind, even for a moment. Though now you were going for a much quicker approach. 

Your fingers found your clit easily, dipping into your cunt to gather a bit of moisture, before giving your clit a harsh swirl around it. Your body eased into the pleasure you were giving it, and your hips pressed forward. A soft sigh escaped your lips, the knot of an orgasm growing inside you. 

Your eyes fell shut again, and this time you pictured Rey between your legs again. Her tongue shoved up inside of you as you rode it. You imagined looking down at her as she pulled back, seeing a row of sharp pointed teeth before she bit down on your inner thigh, the pain wrenching you from your dream again. 

You lay shaking on your bed, rubbing at the spot you had pictured Rey biting you at. There was the barest kiss of pain where her mouth had been, the ghost of your imagination running wild. You gave up on searching for release now, frustrated that your mind wouldn’t let you have a moment of rest. Your day was little more than halfway over but you were already dreadfully bored. 

You stretched out, as you walked back out of the tent. You knew Kaz would be at work still, and for the first time, you felt lost in the home you knew before. The Resistance had been the only thing you had to call home, to call your own, but now it felt foreign to you. The familiarity of the ramshackle tents and command center now all took on a different appearance to you. 

The loneliness you had shoved to the back of your mind came trickling forward as you wandered around the base, no specific place in mind. There was nothing for your hands to fiddle, but the anxiety you felt demanded physical exercise. You tried to commit things to memory; as ephemeral as this base might be, you wanted to know it. Not in the least because you needed to make your way back as well. 

You were deep into the surrounding forest before you stopped. You could hear the faint noises of the Resistance base, but only just. It felt like the furthest you had been from home, the most alone you had ever been. You knew there were all sorts of living things around you, the network that was the planet running all around you. 

You took a deep breath in, inhaling the wet air around you. It was comforting, the way it enveloped you. You stood there, though it felt like electricity was running through your veins. You stood there long enough that you felt like you needed to lay down, and only once you had gotten through it did you turn to begin your walk back. The burn in your legs was a reminder of how long you’d stood motionless, letting the day run through you. 

You collapsed in your bed when you finally made it back, not bothering to change out of your clothes, lying on top of your blanket until sleep overcame you. 

You were floating; there was no other way to put it. Floating through the vast nothingness of space, drifting aimlessly. You could hear someone calling your name, though it sounded like they were far away. There was one star burning brightly in front of you, blazing hotter than you would have expected. You reached out for it and floated closer until your fingers brushed it. 

“You have to wake up now,” you heard, drawing you out of your dream. Kaz was standing above you, a worried look on her face. “You’re needed in the command center.”

“What?” you asked, still only half awake. It felt like ages had passed, like you had been drifting in space for years, but from the look of outside the open tent flap it appeared to just be the dead of night, only a few hours later. 

“I’m not sure what’s happening, but Leia saw me on my way back to the tent and told me to get you up and over there as quickly as I could,” Kaz replied, her face somehow becoming more worried, “She looked really upset.”

You were out of bed in a moment, legs a little unsteady, but being fully clothed, you were able to push past Kaz, You slipped on your shoes and made your way to the command center, stumbling a bit as you tried to move quickly. 

“What’s going on?” you asked, pushing as much confidence into your voice as you could muster. “Did something happen to R--to the Falcon?”

“They’ve lost the Falcon,” Leia replied, her voice thick with emotion, but still trying to get through. “And Chewie.”

The shock of it ran through you like lightning--they had been gone barely hours; how had such a thing happened? The thought after that you voiced out loud. 

“Why am I here?” you asked, your voice weak. You knew you had to ask though--no Falcon to work on meant nothing for you to do, despite the circumstances. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“They asked for you to meet with them,” Rose was the one to reply now, a look in her eye you couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t quite jealousy but there was something simmering beneath the surface. “On Kijimi. To help with the ship, Rey said?”

That didn’t sound right to you-- what use could you be on a ship you had never seen before? There was something different going on, but in the middle of this group wasn’t the best place to ask, and the person who could give you the answer wasn’t here. She was on her way to Kijimi. 

“Well?” Rose asked, breaking you out of your reverie. “Will you go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She’s alive!


	6. A Reticent Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A question, an answer. 
> 
> Things find a way to complicate themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUPRISE SHAWTY

The answer sprang to your lips before you could really process the question. It was on instinct alone that you opened your mouth. There was only one answer that you could give-

“Yes,” slipped out from your lips. Perhaps you should have thought about it more, but all roads would have led you there. You could see Leia smile, a tight one laced with approval, before turning to Rose. 

“We need to find a way to get her there, discreetly,” Leia instructed. Rose gave a clipped nod in reply and immediately went to a console, and typed a few commands into it. Leia turned back to you, and the intensity of her gaze took your off guard. There were tears in the corner of her eyes, unshed but lurking. 

“Go pack whatever you need,” Leia said, and you gave your own nod in reply. You left your trust in Rose and turned back, and ran to your own tent. Kaz was still awake when you burst in. 

“You’re going away, aren’t you?” She asked, and you returned a sigh. What was there to say? You had been asked, and you were going. You couldn’t explain why you had to leave, only that you were. 

“I am,” you replied, “She asked me to.” There was no need for Kaz to question who had asked- only one person would have called you away like this and you both knew it. Kaz simply nodded and grabbed a bag from under her bed, thrusting it towards you. 

“Here, I know you don’t have a pack larger than this,” she said, and you felt a rush of affection towards her. You took it with a quiet word of thanks and began to pack up your life as much as possible. Your clothes fit into the pack with room to spare, and the little belongings you had filled up the rest. You hesitated with the lone picture you had of yourself and your parents before turning back to Kaz. It was the single most important item you had. 

“Keep it safe for me?” you asked her, voice soft with an unspoken goodbye. Kaz nodded, taking it from you. You two locked eyes for a moment, and it said more than either of you would be able to. With that it was time for you to set off again the entire moment taking only a few minutes. You could hear Kaz sniffle a bit when you left, but there was no time to turn back now. You kept your eyes forward, onto the unknown. 

You returned to the command center, only to find it almost empty. Only Leia remained, silent and still. She looked lost in her thoughts, her mind a galaxy or two away. You walked up next to her, hesitant to bring her back to the reality that was the mess you were all in. Before you could speak though, someone else was calling your name.

“I found a ship that can get you to Kijimi in a few hours,” Rose said, bringing your eyes away from Leia and to her, “But we have to get you on it now. The pilot didn’t want to stop at a rebel base.”

“That’s understandable,” you mutter, casting one last glance at Leia before trailing after Rose. There was nothing you could say to her, despite the lingering feeling that you should say something. Rose led you quickly through the forest, far enough that you could barely be called still on base, to a small clearing where a ship was waiting. It was hovering just above the ground, doors open, and you could see the glare of the person holding the door open for you. 

“Good luck,” Rose said, throwing her arms around you. The uncharacteristic move shook you, and for a moment you didn’t return the gesture but slowly your arms came up around her too. You pulled away from her, trying your best to have a confident smile on your face, though you could feel it wavering. 

“HURRY UP!” you heard shouted from the ship. With a heavy heart you walked away from Rose, from the resistance, from everything you had ever known. Once you had sat down and secured yourself in your seat a sliver of doubt sprung into the forefront of your mind. 

You tried to shove it down but the nasty voice in your head was insistent on having its say. You had just left, completely uprooted yourself for Rey. You barely knew her and yet here you were. Off to Kijimi, a place you hadn’t heard of until now, just for her. What would happen when you saw each other again? What if you got there and she realized she had made a mistake?

The ship jerked as it entered lightspeed, and the cut of the harness into your shoulders brought you back, just enough to cast those doubts from your mind. There was no way to go now but forward. You closed your eyes, desperate to try to get any sleep that you could, to force yourself to relax before you were thrown into whatever awaited you. 

After what felt like hours and no time at all, you were jerked awake with a rough push on your shoulder. Your hand came up automatically to brush it away, your eyes snapping open again. You didn’t feel rested despite drifting off to sleep. You unhooked yourself from the harness, getting to your feet with a roll of your shoulders, trying to ease the tension festering in them. 

The ship door was open in front of you again, and once again you were forced to jump out, landing just barely upright. You turned to give your thanks to the people who had brought you, but the door was already slamming shut behind you and the ship was gone again. 

You had expected Rey to be waiting, for anybody to be waiting for you but instead you were alone at the outskirts of the city. You pulled your pack closer to yourself before taking a deep breath and walking into Kijimi- and nearly smack dab into a stormtrooper before you made a quick turn and darted down an alleyway. You pressed yourself into the wall, trying to blend in with the shadows around you. 

The stormtrooper passed by you with no comment, and for once you were happy that you were so overlooked. You followed down the alleyway, wondering how on earth you were ever meant to find anybody before you tripped over something- no, someone. 

There were two bodies lying in front of you, and for one horrifying moment you thought you had stumbled upon a murder scene until the one furtherest from you jerked up. Your hand flew up to smother the noise that wanted to come out of your mouth. 

“Are you alright?” you asked, moving to help the person up. 

“Some crazy woman knocked us out,” they replied, voice changed by a modulator in their helmet to be pitched lower than you would think is possible. “I think she had a lightsaber if you can believe it?”

“I can, actually,” you tell them, noting that they’re well over a foot and a half taller than you. You back away from the person on instinct. Anybody Rey would classify as dangerous was not a friend to you. 

“You’re with her?” the modulated voice snarls, and your hands come up defensively in front of you. There’s not a lot you can do in the way of fighting, but you know you might as well try. 

“Hey, what are you doing with her?” a familiar voice shouts, and you prove immediately that your fighting instincts are terrible, as you turn to face the voice, ignoring the danger that’s in front of you. And-- it’s Poe, standing there, looking somehow even older though it’s only been a few days. Your body moves once again on instinct, right towards Poe, stopping short when another stranger comes up beside him. 

This stranger is female, you notice immediately when she speaks, addressing the two people behind you. She’s snapping orders at them, and you shoot a questioning look to Poe who pointedly ignores you. He reaches out to grab your arm, pulling you closer to him, and away from the trio. 

“What are you doing here?” He hisses as you, keeping his voice low enough you can barely hear it. His question takes you aback. You hadn’t even thought about the possibility that Rey had kept your coming here a secret. 

“Rey asked for me?” the words tumble from your lips, sounding more like a question than a statement of fact. You had run off from everything for Rey, and now you stood there like a fool for it. “Something about the ship?”

“And you came?” The way he says it makes you feel so small and stupid. The incredulity in his voice shakes you down to your core, and the nasty voice inside your head agrees with him. You look up at Poe, mouth open with no response, but the woman from before is calling him now. 

“We can’t stay out here too long,” she’s telling you both. Poe says nothing else but keeps his hand on your arm, his arm around your shoulders. It’s like he’s trying to hide you- not just from the First Order you know to be crawling around the town but from the people you’re with as well. You walk with them down the alley, and then down some stairs until you’re in a crowded workshop, half underground. 

You can hear everyone before you see them. As soon as you turn the corner with Poe you finally see her- Rey. You ignore the look Finn is giving you and then Poe in turn and focus on Rey. Her eyes are rimmed with red, she’s been crying recently. There was a small droid with her and BB-8. C3PO was sitting in a chair, wires galore coming out of his brain. 

“I thought you were going to keep a lookout,” Finn said, looking at you now. “You came back with a whole crew.”  
“We saw her on the lookout,” Poe replied, finally dropping his arm from you. “And now we’re leaving again.”

Poe was immediately following Finn and the strangers out the door, and you could hear the low rumbling of his voice without making out words. Your eyes remained locked on Rey’s, though. In a few short steps she was on you, her arms coming up around you to give your second hug of what you could call your day. Unlike with Rose your arms came up immediately, returning the gesture to her. 

“You came,” Rey whispered, her words soft in your ear, before she pulled back from you, “I wasn’t sure if you would.”

“You didn’t tell them,” came your reply, the only thing that sprang to mind at first. Rey all but jumped away from you before she could answer, the Poe and Finn, and the strange woman returning to the room. 

You tried not to let any rejection sting but Rey’s hand found yours before it could take root at all. Her grip was almost painful with how tightly she held you. Poe glanced down at where your hands were joined but said nothing. 

“Zorii’s friends are going to keep watch,” Poe said, though you thought friend’s was not quite the right word for the two people you had seen. Goons, maybe, but friends seemed a bit of a stretch. He continued on, “So we can talk about this.”

“I invited her. She’s here. End of,” Rey replied, in that clipped tone of hers, “What are we going to do about Threepio?”

“We know what we’re doing with him,” Poe replied, despite Finn opening his mouth, “What are we going to do about her?”

“She’s coming with us,” Rey said, taking a step towards Poe, blocking you from him. “You can’t seriously want to wipe Threepio’s memory?”

“It’s the only way we’re getting into those memories of his,” Poe said, “We need to know what that dagger said.”

“Perhaps we could think of a different plan,” C3PO tried to interject, to be shushed immediately by Poe. 

“You know the odds better than any of us,” Rey said, ignoring everyone to stare directly at the robot, “Is there any other way?”

C3PO is silent for a long moment before he speaks, “If this mission fails, it was all for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time.”

It sounds to you like he’s quoting someone else, and given Poe’s sharp inhale you have a suspicion who. C3PO settles back into the chair he’s in, and the small alien behind him gets back to work immediately, tiny sparks flying away. The little alien says something, and the woman- Zorii, you thought- translated. 

“Babu says it will take a few hours,” Zorii says, looking around at the tense faces in the room, “Possibly longer. Take this time to rest.” You think she mutters something else but you can’t quite catch it with Rey jerking you away from the group. 

“Where are you going?” and this time it’s Finn who speaks, his voice laden with concern. “I think we should talk about this.”

“I’m going to rest,” Rey replied, without sparing anybody a second glance. You let yourself be pulled along with her, biting back all the questions that danced on your tongue. Rey leads you both back out of the workshop, up into the darkened alleyway, and quickly back out of the city. The small ship they’ve flown in on is there in front of you, and you have to admire the simplicity in the design. It’s sitting so close to where you landed but had blended in with the environment so completely you hadn’t noticed it until now. 

Rey didn’t stop moving until you were both in the ship, the door not only closed but locked behind you. One moment she was an arm’s length away, and the next she was right there. Her mouth was on yours, taking advantage of the small gasp that left your lips to push her tongue in. Her hands were on your shoulders, pushing at the straps of your pack until it landed on the floor with a soft thud. You pushed back into her, arms looping themselves around her shoulders. 

“Rey,” you gasped, when the need to breathe caught up with you, her lips chased yours down again but you pulled back, feeling them ghost over yours, “We should talk about it.”

“No,” she insisted back to you, with a soft groan against your cheek, “I’ve had enough of talking. Talking won’t bring Chewie back. Talking won’t make it so we don’t have to erase Threepio’s memories. Talking won’t help us at all.” Despite her insistence, her voice wavered as she spoke, and you pulled away to see tears clinging to her lashes. 

Your hands moved down to her back now, rubbing small circles up and down it, muscle memory of someone doing it to you long ago. Rey takes a deep, shuddering breath, but still presses herself down closer to you, dipping her head into your neck. You can feel her press her lips into where your shoulder meets your neck and it’s your turn to shudder against her. 

She moves away from you now, leaving you cold as she walks towards a small bunk at the back of the ship. You wonder where the ship even came from as your eyes finally take it in. There’s a layer of dust over everything, and now that Rey isn’t so close to you there’s a smell wafting through. 

It feels like there’s something wrong with the ship, now that you’re standing it with no distractions. You can’t see anything outwardly wrong though, just a sense of unease that creeps its way through you. 

“I killed him,” Rey whispered, and you look to where she’s now sitting on the bunk. She’s staring at her hands, a slight tremor going through them. “I don’t even know how it happened, but I did it. And now my friend is dead.”

You cross the ship, dropping down in front of her. Taking her hands in yours, you hold on until she’s no longer shaking, before looking up at her. Her eyes meet yours again, this time tears flowing silent down her face. 

“Tell me what happened,” you implore. Rey nods in reply, and moves over on the bunk to make room for you. Once you’ve sat next to her, she’s tugging you close again. It’s as if she thinks you’ll disappear if she’s not touching you, not confirming that you’re really there. 

She tells you what’s happened to her since you last saw each other. You jolt when she tells you about healing a snake through the force, about how she gives up a bit of herself for it. It’s been so little time, no more than a couple of days, but the loss of Chewbaca seems to have aged Rey years. You lace your fingers with hers, staring at them hard when she mentions the lightning coming out of the tips. You know she’s strong, you’ve felt it before but to know that kind of power lies within her leaves you breathless. 

“And now we have to wipe away Threepio’s memories, just to get to this Sith writing,” her voice is rising in volume, rising in anger at everything that’s happening, “We don’t even know where it leads us to, but it’s the only thing we have now.”

All the words you want to say shrivel up and die in your mouth. What is there you can say? She’s right- talking won’t change anything about what’s happening. Rey sniffles a bit harder at your silence, and you pull her closer this time.

Once again her lips find yours, and you let yourself try to put everything you can’t say into it. She sighs into your mouth, pushing you back until you’re laying on the bunk. She straddles you, hands skimming up your side until she’s cradling your face. You think she’s being sweet until one hand slips around your neck, the barest hint of pressure with it. 

You can’t stop the shudder than runs though you now. It feels like there’s lightning in your veins, sparking wherever she touches you. All you can think about is the quiet power living within the woman laying on top of you, and what it would take to bring it forth. 

“Do you trust me?” Rey whispered, face so close to yours, hands that can heal you or hurt you holding you still. You shouldn’t trust her, everything in your body that works to protect you is screaming that. All of this is so much, too soon, and she could do so many bad things to you. 

“Yes,” the word slips from your lips, as reverent as a prayer, as if Rey is your deity, the only thing in the universe you need to worship now. Her lips press to yours as your eyes drift shut, and for the first time in several hours your body finally relaxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lumos-flies.tumblr.com  
> ko-fi.com/lumos_flies


End file.
